Sunday, October 20, 2013
2008 Question 3 Response 3A Analysis
This is a well written essay. As I have not read the story I thought that the summary was a great way to explain the foil in this story, although at times it was a bit detailed. I am impressed with the evidence you chose to support your choice of Huang as Lindo’s foil, with sentences like “Because of Huangs treatment to Lindo, she found the power within herself to not just accept this forced marriage, and do something to change it.” This sentence gives a direct example of Huang’s evil acts that contrast with Lindo’s self empowered resolve. Also, you seem confident in all aspects of this essay and because you are sure of your opinion, the essay flows. The only suggestions that I would give would be a more intriguing introductory paragraph because it drags on near the end and I would shorten the summary slightly for similar reasons.
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Ana,
ReplyDeleteI agree that this essay was a very strong one. The student provided a good example of a foil and backed it up with some strong evidence. I think the student could have provided a few more pieces of evidence. Also, I think the plot summary was too much. The summary took away from the actual claim the student was trying to make by distracting the reader. Over all, nice job with these essay responses!
Avery
Hi Ana,
ReplyDeleteYeah I had a tough time following the entire plot. Probably didn't need it. While the student did build up to a heck of a pair of concluding paragraphs, I could have used less summary and more "Hey this happened, and this and this and this are ways that these two characters' reactions contributed to what Amy Tan had to say," as opposed to the "This and this and this happened, and FOIL." Just my thought. Well done!
Curtis