Response to Course Material

December flew by this year! I cannot believe that I am writing this post already but here I go. I should start with the multiple Hamlet videos because those took the majority of our time. I was interested in the different ways the same scene could be reenacted but it was hard to stay awake for some. Although it was rough at some points in the movies they all had thought provoking parts. Especially with the relationships the characters have between themselves. Some portray Hamlet and Gertrude's closet scene as a scene of lovers. I personally was disturbed by this and did not get that vibe from the script. One portrays Ophelia and Laertes as lovers, which was very shocking. Some have a more than brotherly affection between Horatio and Hamlet, and some keep the original idea of relationships. Each director had the power to interpret the play as they wanted and they took this and ran with it. Nothing else was done during this busy month except our continual discussions on Hamlet which has not yet hit me with an ah-ha moment except when we talked about how Hamlet is associated with the Devil which reminded me of Disney's Frozen in which a prince seems to be handsome and perfect but is truly on a power run. Although Hamlet just wants revenge it is same idea. 

Open reading 4

2009 Question 3

Response 3A

Nice introduction. You start with a great diction, using words like potent to show your education, and vary your syntax to keep the reader reading. The way you write allows the sentences to roll off the paper and you do so while sticking to the prompt. Your second paragraph proves the point of the essay by stating the symbol out right: and with language like “this blissful ignorance persevere” the reader is urged to read on. Your next paragraph is full of in text evidence which can become dry to read, but you keep it interesting with your strong diction using the word “rabid” to describe the quest. With unique word choice you are able to keep the reader enthralled in your piece and with solid evidence you prove your point. Overall I think you did a perfect job and the readers did too giving you a 9, great job.

Response 3B

Your directly answer the  prompt in the first sentence of your paper and although it is good to have a strong thesis you may want to add an attention grabbing sentence in the very beginning. Your diction in this piece is basic if you had more time with this essay I would tell you to review some of your word choice like using “appear” twice in one sentence. Although the word choice is simple you do a great job at demonstrating your knowledge of the symbol (lamp shade) and how it relates to the theme and characters of the book. I like your choice of the word “fantastical” but it implies that it is unreal so you do not need to say “fantastical and unreal”. Your paragraph explaining the back story to the lamp shade sticks with the prompt and you do a great job explaining it. Overall you did good job I think with an opportunity for editing you would have a top natch paper, the reader gave you a 6 which i think is a bit low but they have valid points like your introduction.

Response 3C

Your first sentence does not draw me in; by saying "pride and strength and power" you do not hold yourself to the college level of writing. It is important to keep literature in present tense so "carried" should be carries. The symbol of power stays close to the prompt. But your thesis sentence is unclear and you could increase this essay with a higher diction. Also white men are known as Caucasians today. Besides this fact your second paragraph is okay but you need to relate it back to the prompt. So is the machete a symbol or does it hold magical powers? I am not sure in the third paragraph about women. Many times you start a quote from the book but do not explain it further. Overall this is a poor essay and you should focus on the prompt, maybe read it multiple times while you are writing the essay. The readers agree with me by giving you a 4 and noting that you need to elaborate on ideas you have.

Close Reading 4

      Although Christmas brings much joy to children it can also be a devastating time. Or so Elizabeth Weingarten thought throughout her life. Although Weingarten believed she had destroyed many kids lives she now understands that it was not the kids who were ruined as she takes us through her emotional journey using strong  syntax, imagery and details to show her feelings from guilt to understanding on the topic of Santa Clause in Spoiling Santa Clause: On Ruining Christmas for a Third Grader.  
      Weingarten uses a variety of sentence structures to allow her feelings to hit home in this article. In the beginning she uses short meaningful sentences to show her raw guilty emotion for exposing the truth of Santa to her class mates. She writes, "Now, they’re paying for it." and "I feel their pain." which allows the reader to feel Weingarten's regret. But once she researched the subject of how kids react to the truth of Santa Clause her feelings and sentences become less severe. As her article became more influenced by other's thoughts she is able to write longer sentences like "She’s watched kids hear the truth before, but it has “never destroyed anyone." which become filled with information and keep a steady flow to show her gain confidence in her self again as she realizes she did not ruin her friends' lives. Varying her sentence patterns help show her contrasting feelings from her initial guilt to her knowledge filled relaxation, but without her vivid images readers would have a difficult time relating. 
        The description of the moment she "killed" her friend Jacqueline's soul is gives the reader a vivid image of the moment her life was changed. She sets the scene by describing her elementary's art room "groups gathered around long, paint-splattered tables, coloring with broken crayons and chewed markers." recalling the room in such detail helps the reader relate to their own art classes. She then goes on about her feelings the second she tells the kids that Santa is not real  saying "All I recall is wishing I could dissolve into metallic goo and seep away through a hole in the ground" here you can feel her horrified feelings of guilt and embarrassment. This contrasts to the way she finishes her story when she does her research in which she purposefully leaves out vivid imagery because Weingarten is connecting other people's opinions to her own. This connection is achieved through well placed quotes "When I saw her reply in my inbox a couple days later, I clicked anxiously. 'To be honest,' she wrote, 'I have zero recollection of that happening.'" which shows her guilt lessen and her life less horrifying then the moment of truth only paragraphs earlier. By having strong imagery when the guilt is most strong and contrasting it with a lack of imagery when she loses this guilt Weingarten is able to show the reader her emotional journey without having to spell it out. 
     With the help of well planned out details Weingarten is able to make the reader bend to her will. In the beginning her details were focused on the feelings that she had and the exact moment of the revealing of Santa. She gives specific details about her age "I was 8", her reasons for learning of the lie of Santa, being Jewish and not receiving presents from the chimney, and her "deliciously superior" feeling of knowing this before any other kid. Building the reader's anxiety for the moment of truth allows the reader to feel the full force of Weingarten "spilling the beans". But as with the other literary devices she avoids this style when she is comforted. Once she realizes that she did not ruin her friends' childhoods she was able to focus on well formulated quotes and left out the details of her life and her feelings because it is clear from her reassuring  conversations with teachers and friends that she feels fine. 
       Weingarten is a skillful writer using contrasting syntax, imagery and details to show her growth from guilt to reassured relief. Her writing in this article gives a sign of hope for any reader who thought that they have spoiled Christmas for others because knowing the truth on Santa will not devastate a kid.