Response to Course Material

Where does one start when we had such a busy month! I guess I will start with my very first fish bowl experience. I was at first intrigued by the idea of a conversation held just by a few, but once I experienced it I realized it is very similar to Socratic discussions; the only difference was that I caught my self zoning out while conversations were going on. The next exercise that stuck with me was the mood and atmosphere paragraph. Each time we wrote a paragraph about the pictures given I felt like an author. I am sure a few books were inspired by pictures because it is easy to create a story to fit with the image, like the picture of the angry men, we kept trying to write about what they were looking at and the event lead up to their anxious faces. I truly hope we continue to do more of these exercises which are not only fun but also help me focus on using strong verbs. I think that ending with Shakespeare's  Hamlet is fitting because it follows our classes schedule. I am so excited to hear other people's opinions on this play because tragedies are not experienced the same way they were during Shakespeare's time. But the last scene did remind me of "Game of Thrones" because there is an episode where the Starks go to a wedding and the whole crew is killed by the insane fief lord. When I relate Hamlet to this episode it is easier to view the play as tragic and not comedic, but still the way people just dropped in this play was a bit comedic.  

Open Prompt Analysis

2006 Question 3

Response 3A Analysis

Your first paragraph was intriguing and did a great job at grabbing my attention; the only suggestion I have is to reword the first sentence as it seems a bit wordy. As I read on I continued to noticed that again your sentences like, “The narrator tells the readers Anne, who was always looked down on by her father and elder sister for being plain but intelligent and kind, will be happy and fit in at uppercross for the two months she is to stay there.” are stuffed with words. Try taking out a few and this paper would be golden. You have great points for each of your supporting paragraphs, like the contrast between the countryside and Bath. Overall I think that this it is well written and make you sound educated on the matter.

Response 3B Analysis

The introduction is okay but repetitive,  you use the same words in similar sentences like “confusion of the play” which could be cut out as you already mentioned a “confusion of the plot” just a few sentences ago. Your points are good but you cloud them with too many details about the story as a reader this gets boring and makes your argument less forceful. Your contrast between city and countryside help your argument but this is lost when you change your argument to proving that this play is a comedy. Although the setting plays an important role in the comedic factor, it is not what the prompt was addressing. At the end it seems as if you just summarized the play even though it is proven in your essay you did understand that the countryside was a peaceful location.

Response 3C Analysis

This essay is very interesting. It is clear you enjoyed reading this book and believed the setting to have a large effect on the book’s message. Although you have a clear understanding of the book you stray away from the prompt by going into details about the characters. Although characters may be affected by the setting it is important to then discuss the setting multiple times to keep the reader thinking about the setting.  

DOS Summary and Analysis

Arthur Miller

• Born 1915
• very Jewish
• wrote the “The Crucible”
• married Marilyn Monroe

Setting

• Brooklyn, New York around 1960
• Rooms are without ceilings and there are holes in the walls that are used when Willy is dreaming about the past
• The neighborhood used to be small with few neighbors but has expanded and now is very crowded represented by ominous angular shapes

Plot

• Willy comes home and is daydreaming, admits to difficulties driving (same day Biff came home)
• Willy argues with Linda about Biff, Biff and Happy discuss their crazy father and Willy daydreams again
• His vision is in the back yard with Biff, Happy, and Bernard, Biff admits to stealing football and Happy tries to gain attention by saying he lost weight, Linda talks to Willy about his sales, and you get hints that he flirts with another woman
• Charley enters because he hears Willy talking to himself, they play cards but Willy daydreams and yells at Ben who Charley can’t see and then Willy kicks Charley out
• Linda tells the boys about how Willie tried to commit suicide
• Everybody argues about jobs and responsibilities
• Willie gets excited because Biff says he will ask Bill Oliver for a business job

Characters

• Willie- trying to get approval from his son Biff (his pride and joy) commits suicide after losing all pride and dignityy
• Linda - Willie’s wife, strong woman who knows about Willie’s suicidal attempts, is willing to kick out her first born son Biff
• Biff - first born son, he is the favorite, does not like business, cares about his father but was broken when he discovered that his dad cheated
• Happy - seemingly content with life but hints at unhappiness when he fights for attention by lying about weight and marriage
• Ben - uncle who went to Africa and got rich

Close Reading 3 Thor

Commentaries are designed to keep a wide range of people interested. This is done in David Weigel’s “Thor: The Dark World The Crocodile Dundee II of superhero films—in a good way!” which describes the new Thor movie and provides Weigel’s opinions. Although listening to other’s ideas  can become boring, Weigel does a great job of using powerful syntax, strong diction, and interesting details to keep his readers hooked.

Throughout this article sentence lengths vary keeping the mind engaged. Some sentences are short and to the point, “And then Thor.” must he say more. Keeping a sentence this choppy, especially for a first sentence, forces the reader to pay attention. The message is still unclear but interest is drawn just by stating that Thor came next. Other sentences are long and with out breaks, “ If the naïve God of Thunder was always going to be betrayed by Loki, better to do it while calling his evil brother “adopted” (he was!) and getting shot out a Helicarrier.” this creates a rolling effect; the reader is continual reading here to understand Weigel’s opinions. This is such a stark contrast to other short sentences that attention must be given, as was Weigel’s intention because this sentence is based off of his opinion.

Not only does the length matter when attracting a reader, the word choice that fills the sentences must fit too. Weigel uses strong descriptive words like “pomp” and “odious” making this commentary almost elevated. The only issue with calling this elevated diction is the multiple made up words such as “Norse-ish”  and “Thor-iverse”

which leads to the conclusion that this may be informal diction. He uses words that are commonly used in conversations.

Although the rest is important one of the major skills that Weigel uses to keep readers entertained is detail He includes outside information to help connect what he has to say, writing “Iron Man, the 2008 film that launched the franchise, introduced a character who wasn’t terribly well-known outside the comic book shop, but it starred Robert Downey Jr. right when America needed him back.” to put the reader in the mind set of marvel. He also uses details from the movie like “The elvish assault on Asgard pits the elves’ spaceships against what appear to be magic, flying canoes armed with cannons, and elvish laser guns against … spears. “ to add to his point that this movie is a great sequel.

Through David Weigel’s talented use of syntax, diction, and details, this commentary is intended to entertain. The reader must continue on even though he writes solely from his own opinion. Once a writer perfects skills like these there work will never be boring.