Sunday, September 22, 2013
2006 Question 1 Response 1B Analysis
Your introductory paragraph seems as if you are writing to get your ideas flowing, it is a decent draft but it is unclear to the reader what you are going to talk about. Your first body paragraph still appears to be beating around the bush, you have the right idea but are not using strong words or examples which gives the appearance that you are insecure in your comprehension of the poem. Your next paragraph seems closer to the goal but you should use quotes from the poem instead of paraphrasing, it gives your opinion more support. You start to catch the reader in the third body paragraph by choosing a strong quote and stating that this creates a “grim expectation” and the next paragraph follows this flow as your ideas solidify. Your concluding paragraph is as rushed and insecure as the beginning but you did hit some major points in the last two body paragraphs.
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This essay hits a lot of main points but lacks the ability to provide an in-depth explanation. Ana, I agree with you when you pointed that "Your concluding paragraph is as rushed and insecure as the beginning but you did hit some major points in the last two body paragraphs." This essay would have been reached a higher score if the writer slowed down a little and expanded on his ideas. Even though the essay lacked analytical skills, the writer did an exceptional job staying on the topic of imagery of what feelings were provoked.
ReplyDeleteAna, Lilly, I agree with everything both of you said. Sometimes if I read essays like this, where I can see that the author knows his or her stuff but still crafts a mediocre essay, I wonder if the issue is a time crunch. That'll definitely help me with my own prep for this exam.
ReplyDeleteFor this particular essay, I just think that overall too much space was given to summary of the poem and not enough to analysis of meaning. Sometimes, if I'm stuck, I just try to remember that no thesis is wrong if its supporting arguments are convincing enough. Maybe that's something this tester could have looked at too.